Monday musings

Source: thisisnthappiness.com

'But you're so thrifty.'

'It's not like you go on shopping sprees and blow your money all the time. It happens.'

These are a couple of the reactions I got from some of my sweet friends this past weekend when I was telling them of my yet-latest financial turmoil and woe. Old me would have clung to these words, looked to them to provide an excuse, a condolescence to make me feel better in this time of crisis. This new me does not want to linger on those words, nor give them any power to allow myself to believe that I really don't have a spending problem. This time I cannot commend myself for being 'thrifty' or sparse with my shopping sprees at Target. Those things don't matter. The things that matter is that regardless of saving money while I do it, I still tend to blow extremely too much money and make extremely too many bad choices in regards to my finances.

I appreciate the sweetness of my friends, I really do, but I cannot be babied. The fact that so many other Americans are in financial crisis should not bring me comfort, nor allow me to look like part of the crowd. I need to be different, I need to be set apart. I cannot allow myself to feel okay about this latest blunder simply because America is broke and debt is common.

Commonality does not make it okay and it doesn't make it fun. 
If 'Broke is the New Black' than I'd rather wear pink.

So thank you to my dear friends for your support, and I appreciate your willingness to love me nonetheless, but let me kick my butt a little. Let me face the cold hard facts of being financially unstable and dig my way up from the depths of debt. I just need you to support that.

It's Monday. I told myself I would go to the bank today, but I haven't. I don't know exactly what I would tell them and I don't know exactly how it would help. I think Wednesday will fair better for me, I'm most productive in the middle of the week surprisingly. Plus I am still working on a gameplan.

For now I remain broke.

And positive.

Positive that I am going to rebound and learn from this, and let those lessons stick with me for the rest of my life.